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How To Be A Better Friend (2023)

How To Be A Better Friend (2023)

How To Be A Better Friend (2023)

How To Be A Better Friend (2023)

This article is centred on teaching you how to become a better friend in 2023

For a major part of my life, I sucked at making friends. It was not because I couldn’t talk to people or I wasn’t finding people, but because I just didn’t know how to make friendships work. 

And just like you, I took out time to learn how to become a better friend. Did it work?

Absolutely! I have since moved on to have a good number of friends (actually I think they are becoming too much). Not only do I have friends, but they also can’t stop talking about how amazing and a blessing they think I am to them.

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ALSO, READ 10 Characteristics Of A Bad Friend

Here are 10 tips for you to become a better friend in 2023

How To Become A Better Friend

1. Love Yourself

Every time I tell people this, they almost immediately shout back at me, “I want to learn how to be a better friend for others, not to love myself.”

But that is a prerequisite. You can only give what you have. You cannot be a good friend to your friends if you’re not a good friend to yourself. This is because you will always project your perception of yourself onto others.

For instance, if you do not love yourself because you think you are boring, whenever you are around people you keep expecting them to think you are boring.

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So you will begin to do things you would not naturally do to convince them you are not boring. Even though they don’t think that about you. With time they will notice this and begin to get displeased with you.

On the other end, you can also just cave in and “keep being boring.” Either way, your dissatisfaction with yourself will be transferred to every friend you try to keep and they’ll be dissatisfied with you.

ALSO, READ Characteristics Of A Genuine Pastor

So the first step to being a better friend is to accept who you are— not reject change or improvement— but love yourself while you change and get better.

Everybody wants to hang out with someone who is confident and feels good about themself. 

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How To Become A Better Friend

How To Become A Better Friend

2. Choose the Right Friends

 

Before you go too far fussing about the fact that you are a bad friend, you must understand that you can’t be a good friend to every single person. 

So the foundation must be in place.

The quality of every friendship is dependent on the quality of the individuals in it. This does not mean that some people are bad and others are good.

We are all equal only that some people are more good for each other than others.

There are three major qualities of people who will make good friends

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  • Similarities in Interest

It is easier to be a better friend to someone when you both have similar interests. They will enjoy themselves while you’re talking about or doing something you enjoy.

It is unlike what you get with a friend with whom you do not have common interests. You have to continue to sacrifice your space and natural inclinations to get involved in their own things.

  • Compatible Personality

Compatibility talks about your ability to get along with each other. A good friend for you is someone you don’t have to keep fighting with. While disagreements are inevitable in every friendship, everybody has more fun when disagreement is not the bulk of what happens when you guys meet. 

You might have a tough time as an extra extrovert who loves noise if your best friend loves to stay calm and indoors.

Of course, it can work, but it’ll take more intentionality and effort.

  • Similar Value Systems

In choosing the right friends, even greater than compatibility is a similarity in your value systems. Your value systems are the ideologies and convictions you hold about life and which will live by. 

This is very evident among students. A student who prioritizes his academics above everything will be a bad friend to someone who hates school.

Friendships develop when both parties spend time doing things together. However, people with conflicting values systems will rarely have things to do that the other person will be interested in. 

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You and your friend must not have all your interests the same. You may not have exactly matching personalities, and your value systems may be different in some areas. But there must be a meeting point or several meeting points, enough to make the friendship enjoyable for both parties.

How To Become A Better Friend

How To Become A Better Friend

3. Be A Contributor

Friendships are relationships of mutual benefits. To be a better friend you must be intentional about being a contributor to the life of the other person  

You must be on the look to identify their needs and find ways to meet them.

I have just told you about choosing a friend whose interests are your interests, but no matter how similar your interests and personalities are, there must be differences.

You don’t run away from those parts of your friends. Instead, you should be open to making adjustments to satisfy those areas of your friends’ life that are not your natural inclination. 

This calls for sacrifices. Being a contributor also entails being emotionally present for them when they are going through tough situations and being financially present as much as you can when they have financial needs. 

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4. Do Not Lose Yourself

This is the other extreme of being a contributor and making sacrifices for the sake of your friendship. You can assume the role of a contributor so much that you forget that you should also receive.

It is only friendship when there are mutual benefits.

If only one person is benefiting from the friendship, it has become parasitic. You lose yourself in a friendship when you are not gaining any satisfaction from the sacrifices you are making for them.

Here are two instances. Max loves to watch football matches but his friend Tim doesn’t. Tim loves to see movies instead.

From time to time Tim goes with Max to watch football matches and Mark goes to the movies with Tim. They are both sacrificing their preferences for the sake of friendship and this is healthy. 

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Then there’s also Susie and Carly who are in the same situation. But this time, Carly doesn’t get to go to the movies because she has to keep up with Susie’s football matches.

Whenever she sees a movie, she does it secretly or when there are no matches. She believes she needs to satisfy her friend by going with her to every match but she’s losing herself in the process.

You should make sacrifices for friends but you shouldn’t be a sacrifice. You must remain in touch with your desires and preferences as well.

How To Become A Better Friend

How To Become A Better Friend

5. Allow Your Friends to Have Their Space

You shouldn’t be a parasite. A healthy friendship has both time for coming together and time for being alone.

To become a better friend you must understand that things cannot always go your way and you won’t always have your needs met. You can unconsciously become the Susie among your friends who drags everybody to do things she wants. 

If you do this you are denying them the pleasure of self-expression in the relationship. When you do not allow people to express themselves and their desires the way they want, they begin to see your presence as a threat to their peace and you’ll be a bad friend.

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But not only does not giving people their space affect them. It also affects you by extension. You are deprived of the dynamism and variety that you should enjoy when you allow them to express themselves.

The moment you open your heart and begin to admire the differences of your friends you will discover that there are other fascinating things in life than all you’re used to.

People’s differences are not a defect. They are a blessing if you learn to appreciate them and allow them to express them.

6. Don’t Pileup Offences

Offenses are the byproduct of relationships. The only way to not get offended is to not talk to anyone. But the day you signed up to have friends was the day you signed up to be offended.

Now, the fact that someone offended you doesn’t mean they are a bad person. You get offended when someone does something you do not like, not necessarily when they do something bad.

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So it is your job to help them know what you don’t like and ask them to redress. You become a bad friend when you keep counting and holding onto everything they do that you don’t like instead of telling them.

There are very few people who intentionally do things to offend their friends. When you find such people, you might want to ease out of their lives.

But for normal friends, you should give room for their weaknesses and understand that they won’t always be perfect. As long as their heart is right, even when their acts aren’t right, you should forgive them and talk about it.

7. Share Your Life Together

You will be a better friend when you’re interested and share in the lives of your friends. Now, there are several meeting points that can bring friends together but you should go beyond that point into other areas of their life.

For example, if you got to meet each other at the office and friendship developed around work and goals, you should gradually go beyond that and show concern for or interest in other areas of their life. 

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Be concerned about the welfare of their family, their health, spirituality, and other areas. 

The world needs support systems and every time you present yourself as someone who is willing to be a support system for another person, you’ll be a good friend to them. 

 

If you are just getting to know each other, you might want to take it slowly and only enter into other areas of their lives as you trust each other more and as you get more comfortable around each other.

But sharing your life together has to be a two-way thing. You should also make them know they are welcome into other areas of your life aside from your primary meeting point.

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Share your successes and failures, triumphs and challenges together.

8. Actively Create Memories

The most exciting friendships are the ones with the most memories. But you don’t have to wait for memories to come with time.

Instead, you should be actively involved in creating the memories. Initiate adventures, initiate going to places that you both will enjoy, and initiate games and fun. Be the creative friend.

One way to create memories that will last is to ask what exciting stuff your friends haven’t done before and organize one.

For instance, if one of you has never gone to the beach or a particular restaurant, you can set out a day to go there. Learning stuff together is another way of creating memories.

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9. Be An Active Listener

A major part of what happens in friendship is communication. Not only will being an active listener make you a better friend. It will help you make more friends if that’s something you find difficult.

Here is why it works: we all as humans love to tell our stories. We love to share our experiences if we find someone who will listen.

Unfortunately, only a few people care to listen because everybody loves to tell their own stories. s

So when friends are talking, it is very common to see the other person cooking what they want to say instead of fully listening to what the friend is saying.

And we all know this.

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If you choose to be different and choose to listen actively and show complete interest and what your friends are saying, you will stand out.

You will make them feel fascinating and they will want to spend more time with you. One way to show that you are truly listening is to ask relevant questions seeking to get the full picture of what your friend is saying.

You should listen to understand and know them better, not just reply.

10. Commit to Self Development

I talked about the fact that offence is a byproduct of relationships. But this happens in two ways. In the same way your friends will offend you from time to time, you will also offend them.

But as your friendship progresses, the frequency of offences should reduce.

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This means you will do fewer things that they don’t like and you will get along with some of their behaviours that you don’t like. For this to happen, you must be committed to becoming a better version of yourself.

You should develop your emotional intelligence, your communication skills, become more empathetic with them, and so on.

Becoming a better version of yourself also retains you as a valuable person in their life because they can come with you with issues and they’ll be sure that you can provide valuable help. 

Friendship should be progressive. If your friends are progressing and you aren’t, with time you will outgrow yourselves and the friendship will tear apart.

Conclusion

Even if you’re someone who doesn’t know how to make friends or you’ve received too many complaints for not being a good friend, you can always get better. To be a better friend you must love yourself, be a contributor to the friendship, forgive offenses, share your life, create memories, be an active listener, and keep developing yourself.

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JESUS IS COMING SOON!!!

ARE YOU BORN AGAIN? IF NO, ACCEPT JESUS NOW

Accept Jesus Christ today and secure a life of eternal rest and Glory …

SAY THIS 1 MINUTE PRAYER

LORD JESUS, I BELIEVE YOU DIED FOR MY SINS, FORGIVE ME OF ALL MY INIQUITIES. I ACCEPT YOU AS MY LORD AND SAVIOUR FROM TODAY AND FOREVERMORE. COME AND BE THE LORD OF MY LIFE AND I AM WILLING TO OBEY YOUR COMMAND AND LIVE ACCORDING TO YOUR WILL AS YOU HELP ME, THANK YOU FOR ACCEPTING ME INTO YOUR FOLD. AMEN

JOHN 3: 3 JESUS ANSWERED AND SAID UNTO HIM, VERILY, VERILY, I SAY UNTO THEE, EXCEPT A MAN BE BORN AGAIN, HE CANNOT SEE THE KINGDOM OF GOD

I Am A God-kind Gospel Blogger, Gospel Content Writer, Evangelist, Songwriter, Teacher and Soul-Winner and the Chief-editor of ThePreachersPortal.Org. Right here, you will get access to the Latest and Trending Gospel songs worldwide, Live Streams, Audio Messages, Motivational Articles and Inspirational content as we share them for free. Follow me on social media to learn more about this movement. -ThePreacherMan

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Christian Life

How To Know A Good Church |10 Characteristics

10 Characteristics Of A Good Church

How To Know A Good Church |10 Characteristics

How To Know A Good Church |10 Characteristics

Characteristics Of A Good Church

Finding a good worship assembly could be challenging for some folks especially in this age of falsehood in Christendom. The church is now termed a business centre, although Jesus Christ first made that statement when he said it’s a house of prayer, not money exchangers. MATT 21: 13

This seems to be the order today as many have really become business centres and magic homes to defraud people. However, when there is a fake, it is because the original is available. There are churches that have not lost the essence of their existence and have proven this overtime 

In this article, I would show you the things to look out for in finding a good church in any denomination. 

10 Characteristics Of A Good Church

  • The Are Receptive 

The first thing you want to look out for is how you’re received. Jesus Christ made this known to us that no matter the gender, tribe, culture, race, His arms are open wide to receive.  When a church doesn’t pay attention to the first-timers it’s a bad omen.  Some churches are carried away by the number, some neglect while some are careless.  A good church knows that every soul counts and they are willing to go all out to keep them in the fold. When you’re properly received you feel comfortable and you would love to return again and again. 

ALSO, READ DANGERS OF PRIDE (WHY MEN FALL)

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A good church pays more attention to new souls than to established souls. Jesus can leave the 99 and go for the 1 lost so why won’t you.  When they receive you well and treat you well they’ve made a lasting impression but there is more. 

After they receive you the next thing you look out for

  • They Praise And Worship God 

Any place of worship where there is no praise and worship to God is not a good one. The presence of God is in the midst of His people when they give Quality praise and worship to Him. Read (Psalm 22: But you are holy, O You that inhabit the praises of Israel)

Any church that neglects this is already on a failed mission. Like Moses said if your presence doesn’t go with is we can go no further.  The visitation of God is tied to man’s invitation. God is omnipresent, but His acts are not always visible till He is invited and praise and worship is the greatest tool. 

Any church that doesn’t pay attention to this is not a good church. God must be praised and worshipped in songs, hymns and chants and what have you. 

  • They Pray To God 

This is another way to secure the presence of God. Prayer is a Masterkey, the media to which humanity interacts with Divinity. Any church that doesn’t pray would always fall prey to the plans of the devil.  Prayer secures God’s presence as well as establishes man’s dominion on earth.

How To Know A Good Church

A prayerful church is a powerful church.  If they do not pray then you have no business with them. Your destiny must be fulfilled and it takes prayer and several other engagements to make it come through.  A good church prays without ceasing. 

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  • The Word Of God is Undiluted 

This part is very common these days.  a lot of preachers leave the scripture and start telling stories. Great Preachers have a mental picture of the scripture and can illustrate these for better reach and understanding. But when they only talk about what happened and what didn’t happen without relating to scripture RUN!!!

The word of God preached should be pure, undiluted, in season, and consistent to be a good church. You must be eager to hear more and more daily as the revelations and inspirations of the Holy Ghost is new every morning.   The gospel must: be soothing and true, gentle and exact, be able to convict and convert. Not a gospel of reproach and condemnation but reproof and correction. Jesus must be the centre, not the intended priest or pastor as the case may be. 

The pastor. must be a seasoned teacher of the word of God and anointed to always deliver God’s word. 

  • No Fetishism, Every Practice or Doctrine is from the Bible 

Every church has a doctrine or belief system on which they run. This varies in many churches as they draw theirs from the revelation and instructions received by their founders.

The body of Christ means every member of the body has their specularities, but all in the same body. I am the Vine and You are the branches. Every branch is tied to the Vine but points in different directions. As long as they are connected to the Vine the fruits are the same whether they face different directions or not.

How To Know A Good Church

Doctrines perfectly describe the body of Christ. Just as the eyes differ from the mouth but all make up the body. They both play a major role in making a sound body although their assignments differ.

The only clause is, these doctrines must be traced to the scripture?? Is it embedded in the word of God or they are man-made? Practices of spiritualism, demonism, magic are not scriptural and make it a bad church. Runaway from such an environment. 

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  • Their Appearance Is Modest And Not Seductive 

Appearance is a serious factor, the Bible says when we shall see Him we shall be like him 1 JOHN 3:2. The importance of appearance cannot be overemphasized. You’re first addressed by your appearance before your speak.  A good church pays attention to the appearance of its members. The church is not a clubhouse, it’s a worship environment.  Not saying you must appear in a boring and backward way be but modest. Look like Jesus, male or female.  

A good church will intimate the need for a modest and moral appearance always. When you go to a church and you see a lady dressed half-naked during a worship session you could be disconnected. 

You can allow people to come as they are but don’t let them remain as they are. Any church that allows for immoral appearance is a bad church. 

  • They Are Gospel-Centred 

The Gospel of Christ is the core message everything is secondary. Some churches have become fundraisers, business and entertainment hubs.  If a church is ultimately focused on projects, programmes, events and you cannot trace it to the advancement of the Gospel it’s a bad church.  The Gospel of Jesus Christ is the template to run with till he comes again as He is coming soon. 

Nonetheless, the gospel shall yet spread abroad through prosperity. Not all churches have the kingdom mandate, yes, but when you find one stay there and be part of the move. That they raise funds for projects doesn’t automatically make them a bad church.

  • Evangelism: The salvation of Souls Is A Priority

Soul-winning agenda is the top priority in a good church. Evangelism is more important than any other meeting. The last word of Jesus Christ was Go ye into the world and preach the gospel. A good church never stops talking about soul winning and its importance. They make it mandatory and some places a compulsory practice to reach out to souls. When you find one do well to be part of them 

  • They Have Respect and Honour 

A good church shows respect to one another and gives honour to its leaders and priest. Where there is no honour there is no reward. People often castigate churches that expressively honour their pastors and leaders. Don’t be part of them, when you see a place where there is an honour for the priest and servant of God you see the people flourish. 

Good churches do this judiciously as it’s biblical and rewarding. MATT 10: 41

  • A Good And Conducive Worship Environment 

This is the last because it could be based on various conditions, especially at an early stage.  A good church must have a comfortable learning and worship environment that depicts excellence. 

Although, this could be in levels based on the financial capability of the members But, at every level, excellence can be displayed 

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You don’t need to have all the money to be excellent. God will see how you treat the work with little before more is added to you. The ambience of a worship facility makes it more exciting. Comfort makes communication smooth and productive.

How To Find A Good Church

A good church will make the House of God look better than that of the Pastor, unlike some churches. 

I’ll stop here …. If you find any church that has these characteristics, don’t hesitate to be part of them. For some folks who are led by the spirit on decisions such as this, I believe every good church should have these features. 

If you have a comment, contrary opinion and more Characteristics please comment below.

Don’t forget to share …. Thanks for reading 

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ARE YOU BORN AGAIN? IF NO ACCEPT JESUS NOW

Accept Jesus Christ today and secure a life of eternal rest and Glory …

Say this 1 Minute Prayer 

Lord Jesus, I believe you died for my sins, Forgive me of all my iniquities. I accept you as my Lord and Saviour from today and forevermore. Come and Be the Lord of my life and I am willing to obey your command and live according to your will as you help me, Thank you for accepting me into your fold. AMEN

JOHN 3: 3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

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Christian Life

Proper Praying Positions And Patterns With Biblical References

Proper Praying Positions And Patterns With Biblical References

Proper Praying Positions And Patterns With Biblical References

Different Ways To Pray Effectively

Is it disrespectful to sit down to pray ?? Is it biblical to open your eyes to pray ?? These questions and many more do people have a conventional answer to but not the biblical standard?

When an elder and a teenager sit during a prayer session, what comes to mind is that the teenager doesn’t honour God. Now worse is the case if the elder is standing and the youth is praying sitting down, people would say all manner of things. But when they go to God does he see the elder and the youth by age ??

ALSO, READ 7 Ways Pastors Make Money Outside Church Offerings

The physical state or position of the body does not always reflect the state of the heart of the authenticity of the prayer. God searches the heart, and God is not mocked.

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You can roll on the bare floor with unforgiveness in your heart against a neighbour and God doesn’t answer you but a neighbour who is just saying a prayer in his seat.

Your proper prayer posture isn’t the position of your body, but of your heart and spirit…

To a humble spirit… it’s about humility.

Psalm 51:17 (NKJV) The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, A broken and a contrite heart— These, O God, You will not despise

There are several instances or various positions and postures patriarchs in the Bible portrayed when praying to God.

Below Are Some Ideal Prayer Positions, How And When To Apply Them

 

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1. Sitting

1 Chronicles 17;16-27

Sitting is not a carnal position when praying. It’s biblical and scriptural and as well very effective. There are times you sit to pray it all depends on the situation.

When To Sit and Pray;

  • During Meal
  • In a Bus
  • In a meeting
  • Driving  and so on

Who Should Sit to Pray

  • Aged or Sick Person
  • Tired, Weak or Stressed
  • Anyone, It all depends on the situation

Prayers made sitting down: All categories can be made in this position but more appropriate these for desperate situations require desperate measures.

  • Gratitude
  • Appreciation and Thanksgiving
  • Request
  • Silent Prayers

2. Kneeling 

Luke 22;41 ; 41 And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and vknelt down and prayed, 42 saying, w“Father if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.”

Another awesome position is the kneeling posture. This shows submission to an extent but this is when the heart is kneeling with the body too. Although it would not be a convenient posture for the aged many still do. Kneeling is highly scriptural and many patriarchs pray to God in that posture.

When to kneel to Pray:

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  • Confessing of sin
  • Making a request
  • Worship and Honour
  • Praying in pain and so on

 Who can kneel to Pray

Everyone is able.

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Christian Life

Dangerous Mistakes A Christian May Never Recover From In Ministry

Dangerous Mistakes A Christian May Never Recover From In Ministry

Dangerous Mistakes A Christian May Never Recover From In Ministry

Dangerous Mistakes A Christian May Never Recover From In Ministry

6 Dangerous Mistakes A Christian May Never Recover From In Ministry

Evangelist Dr Gospel Agochukwu, the Senior Pastor of Shekinah Arena Gospel Church, Lagos. As Christians, we commit numerous dangerous errors from which it is nearly impossible to recover. We make poor decisions that we believe are correct, and we later come to regret them. Dr Gospel, on the other hand, identified and detailed six dangerous mistakes that Christians may never recover from in ministry unless God intervenes, and they are as follows:

ALSO, READ Common Mistakes People Make With Money

1. GETTING MARRIED TO THE WRONG PERSON

It’s quite difficult to get over a bad marriage. Even if you remarry after a divorce, the stigma, fear, and drama will remain. Please watch and pray if you aren’t married!

2. EMPOWERING THE WRONG KIND OF PERSONNEL

Because some dogs only need enough power to bite you, feeding every hungry dog makes you a giver. Until you empower them, there are those who lack the required weapons, money, and energy to combat you. Today, be careful who you enable; white teeth do not equal pure souls.

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3. SUBMITTING TO THE WRONG PERSON

It is stated that what follows you is determined by who you follow. Look about you and your ministry to see what’s going on; it’s a mirror of who you follow. Your collection is the result of your relationship.

ALSO, READ Converting Your Mistakes To Miracles – Dr. D.K Olukoya

6 Dangerous Mistakes A Christian May Never Recover From

It’s preferable to submit to an unpopular Grace and be assured of actual mentorship and, at the very least, heaven, than to submit to someone whose destiny, path, and destination are unknown.

4. DOING MINISTRY WITH THE WRONG MATERIALS

According to the Bible, every man’s work will be tested by fire to see what materials were used. Whatever you’re creating for the kingdom today, if you’re employing the incorrect resources, it’ll all come crashing down on Earth. Keep in mind the components you’re employing to construct your MINISTRY. Sorry, if it’s not the Bible and prayer, it won’t last and won’t be rewarded!

5. GOING TO HELL

This is a costly blunder that is even worse than the others. I pity you if you’re reading this and don’t believe in the existence of paradise and hell. The rapture will occur sooner than we imagine, and reality will set in. I know it’s not simple, but do everything you can to make heaven.

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ALSO, READ Three Ways To Recover Your Career After Losing Your Job Due to Covid-19

6. YEARS OF MINISTRY ON RENTED PROPERTIES YET OWN CARS, HOUSES, AND OTHER PROPERTY

Staying on rented property is one of the most common causes of ministerial stagnation. Landlords have the ability to evict you the next day. I am not opposed to your success or advancement; nevertheless, please include your church. Purchase property and construct a church. The opportunity to acquire land and build a church will offer itself to you during the first five years of your career, but if you miss it, you will be finished.

In conclusion, the man of God claimed that this is his personal method of expressing himself and also his own little way of contributing to people’s life and MINISTRY, He then advised them to enjoy the teaching and thank him later.

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